Lost (Help Me, I'm Buried Alive)
by Twilight Archangel
Summary: Following Wally's death at the Reach Invasion, Dick has finally lost it. He's drowning in despair, tired of putting up a mask. His friends, worried about him, go to visit him and find a broken boy, not the always strong Nightwing. Using M'Gann's powers, they dive into the deepest corners of Dick's mind. To his childhood, his traumas, his eventful moments... and his deepest secrets.
1. Prologue: Inside A Broken Mind

**Hey everybody, I'm talking a small break from The Deathstroke Contract to write this new story! It won't be long, probably 5 or 6 chapters. I just came up with it and it was so delicious, I had to write it!**

* * *

 _ **Lost (Help Me, I'm Buried Alive)**_

 _My hope is on fire, my dreams are for sale_

 _I dance on a wire, but don't want to fail her_

 _Walk against the stream, fight for what I believe in_

 _I run towards the end, trying not to give up._

It's been one week, two days, seven hours and fifty four minutes since Wallace Rudolph West was taken from this world. The Team was mourning, Artemis was lonely. Flash was inconsolable. But no one knew the worst. Nightwing was broken, lost, destroyed. Of course, no one saw it. Not even Batman. It was so unfathomable, right? Nightwing, the superhero that was most dedicated to his job, most willing to sacrifice his soul, most willing to lose the trust of his loved ones… he was broken. Why, you may ask? It was because his best friend and his grip to sanity had died, disintegrated by the Reach, taken away forever.

The Reach had not only taken away a hero, Kid Flash, no, they had grabbed Dick Grayson's heart and crushed it, just to let the pieces fall to the an endless void of nothingness. And worst of all? No one knew. No one could see how broken the hero was. He lost a part of him when Wally died, and it was worse because he died with them fighting. And he couldn't understand that. Dick didn't want to keep on living that way.

Lying to his friends? Endangering their lives? Forsake everything for the sake of his mission? That's not who he wanted to be, anymore. So Nightwing took a leave of absence, letting Aqualad return to the leadership. And so… Dick Grayson slipped. He finally slipped into insanity. He let himself fall into the darkness of his broken mind. His friends hated him, his best friend was dead… his parents and aunt and uncle and cousin… gone. He didn't have much left. He had lost it all.

So he wanted to forget the pain.

And there he was, on a Blüdhaven bar, way past drunk. He just kept seeing it. All his failures. The Flying Graysons falling, the betrayal of his friends, the death of his best friend. They replayed on his mind like a broken movie and Dick wondered if it would ever stop. He was just drinking and drinking, letting the alcohol blur his mind and ruin his liver. He was young, but he was starting to have an uneven beard and bags under his eyes.

He was a mess.

"Ha," said a voice, next to him, and he looked around, dazed and confused. He could barely see a redhead in front of him. "How they mighty have fallen…"

Dick wished it was Wally, but Wally was dead. Probably hating him on his grave.

His vision focused a little bit and he recognized Roy Harper, clone Roy Harper, looking at him with disapproval. "You know, after finding out I was a clone… I fell, harsh… but not like this. Dammnit, Dick…"

The ebony couldn't speak in his drunken state.

The bartender looked at Roy with a disapproving look. "Hey, get him out. I don't want the cops to find him here. He's been drowning in booze for the last three days…"

Roy glared at the man. "And you didn't care he was underage?"

"He pays, good tips too," said the bartender with a shrug. "I don't ask questions…"

"You're an asshole," said Roy to the man, as he put Dick's arms around his shoulder, trying to get him up. "Come on, Dick…"

Dick slurred his words. "Don't wanna go… ghosts at home…"

"You need to clear you mind," said Roy as he dragged Dick out of the bar. "And I don't want to even imagine the motherfucker hangover you're going to have tomorrow…"

And so, Roy Harper dragged Dick Grayson home.

* * *

Tim was anxious.

He was at Artemis' home, summoned by her. He was not the only one, Kaldur was there, and so were Barbara, Zatanna, M'Gann and Conner. It was strange that she would invite them home, especially since they hadn't been really talkative since what happened to Wally. They were all grieving in their way, rememebering the ginger speedster the way he was supposed to be remembered, cheerful, happy.

Artemis was by the kitchen, pouring some coffee on several cups. She was deadly silent.

M'Gann looked at her best friend, worriedly. She sat in front of her, by the kitchen table. "Hey Artemis, how are you feeling today?"

Artemis breathed deeply. "Not good. Not having missions, it doesn't sit well with me. Reminds me of him… and how much I miss him. As Tigress, I'm strong, as Artemis… I'm vulnerable…"

Conner then placed a hand over her shoulder. "You know we're here for you, anytime…"

There was an awkward silence, until Artemis spoke. "Wednesdays are the worst. We used to… have family dinners every Wednesday. We invited Dick, you know, sometimes. It was a really good time…"

And then tears escaped Artemis' eyes. Silent tears.

Kaldur looked at the archer with a pain look. "We are all grieving the loss of Wally, but we must remain strong. And you must remember that if you need us, you can always count on us…"

"Thanks Kaldur," said Artemis with a forced smile. "Thank you, everybody."

Then the door opened, revealing Roy Harper, with a frown in his eyes. "She's not the only one who needs help…"

"Roy," said Kaldur as he looked at the redhead man. It was the first time Kaldur was seeing Roy, and they both were surprised. The last time they saw each other, Red Arrow was consumed over his guilt and Kaldur was preparing to join the Light in the undercover mission.

Roy acknowledge that and nodded respectfully to him. "It's good to see you, Kaldur…"

"I hear you have a daughter," said Kaldur, trying to ease the tension. "Congratulations, my friend…"

"You can visit her anytime, so you can meet her," said Roy with a casual smile. "I bet Lian will be thrilled to meet her uncle Kaldur…"

Barbara and Tim, however, exchanged glances. The redhead woman turned to Roy. "I don't think you summoned us here to talk about Lian… am I right?"

"No," said Roy with a sigh. "Have any of you seen Dick lately?"

Kaldur shook his head. "Not since he asked me for a leave of absence…"

Barbara looked down, guiltily. "I haven't talked to him either. He's been evading me…"

"And me," said Zatanna, crossing her arms at the thought of her ex-boyfriend. "I don't think he want to talk to us. He's not being very… chalant…"

Tim, however, sighed. "I went to visit him, but he was gone. He was not in his apartment. I assumed he was at the Police Academy or something…"

"Actually," began Roy and breathed deeply. "He's been drinking. A lot, the last days. I found him at bar, nearly drowned in alcohol, last night. He is desperate, lost, broken…"

Artemis laughed bitterly. "Well, he's not the only one…"

Tim and Barbara exchanged looks. "Dick? Drinking? But… he's body is like a temple for him, he's never…"

"Wally's death…" began Conner, rubbing his arm. "He took it harder than we thought…"

Roy nodded. "That's why I want you all to come with me to his apartment and make him see light… I know, we are all hurt. Wally was also one of my closest friends, and I'm in as much pain as anyone here. But… we're all friends, we can't let him drown in his own sorrow…"

Artemis nodded and stood up. "Let's go…"

With knowing looks, the friends looked at each other and nodded.

* * *

Arriving to Blüdhaven via Zeta Tube, the group of friends walked toward Dick Grayson's apartment.

Tim felt quite uneasy. Dick was his big brother, the person he relied on. Dick had always been there for him, every day since he became a Wayne, a Bat. But now Dick needed him and he didn't know how. He could feel it in the air, it stank with alcohol and dirty clothes. The place was untidy. He felt a pang of pain in his heart. His big brother was suffering, again.

Barbara wanted to kick Dick for being like this. She knew him. She loved him. They were soulmates, supposed to marry and have children and what not. They promised they would always be there for each other, starting from that day they were playing spin the bottle, were shoved into a closet and shared their first kiss. Dick Grayson was hers, and she didn't know how to react to this sorrowful man.

Conner felt angry. Dick had lied to them, almost gotten M´Gann, Kaldur and Artemis killed. However, Dick was his friend too, and he had to pull him off the hole even if he wanted to smash his head. They always stood together. Dick was the one that pressed that button that set him free at Cadmus. He owed it to him, no matter how angry he was.

Zatanna was worried. Although she knew Dick and her were no longer together, she cared deeply for him. Sometimes he would seductively play with her just to get favors. They had a special relationship. Dick was a person of many women, but he was always loyal to the girl in turn. He was like that with Zatanna, and she wanted to help him.

M'Gann could feel the deepest despair coming from the apartment. It hurt her. That little boy she met five years ago was now in so much pain and she didn't know how to fix it. She wanted to be of help, but after everything she's done, she didn't know how to. In a way, she knew Dick felt responsible for Wally, just as she did.

Artemis felt sympathy. Dick was like a brother to her. They had both loved Wally deeply. She would remember those Wednesdays they would share dinner and enjoy a good bonding time. And it hurt her that Dick was feeling this way, because she felt that way too. She was trying to get grips to sanity, but it was hard. Losing Wally took a toll on both of them, and they might never heal.

And Roy felt so useless. Dick and Wally had been brothers. Losing one was a terrible blow, one he might never recover from. But he was decided he wouldn't lose the other one. They were all they had. So Roy was going to do for Dick what Dick did for him: be there in his most despaired moments.

They opened the door of the room, just to find a very disheveled Dick lying in bed, bags on his eyes, and looking up in despair.

"Dick…" said M'Gann with pain as she saw her friend in such a state.

Dick looked at them a laughed bitterly. "So you have all came to do some shrink wrap with me. Nice…"

Tim was the next one to step forward. "We've come to help you…"

"Sorry little brother," said Dick sadly. "You can't help me. You can't save me. No one can…"

Artemis then felt a surge of rage and screamed at Dick. "You are a real asshole, did you know that? I also lost my boyfriend! The guy I was in love with! But you don't see me giving up! I'm trying to move forward…"

Dick stood up and clumsily walked to Artemis, and she could smell the booze on his breath. He gave her a BatGlare. "I know you're hurting. But you don't know how I feel…"

Conner pushed him. "Then tell us! You don't hide in here and wait for you to die! You talk to us!"

Kaldur pulled Conner back gently. Then looked at Dick compassionately. "My friend, the loss of Wally… it hurt us a lot. But you can't give up…"

Dick growled. "If only you knew half of what goes into my mind! You'd understand!"

"Help us understand, then!" screamed Barbara in rage. "Talk to us, to me!"

"No," said Dick decidedly. "You wouldn't understand! None of you! I lost my sanity a long time ago, and the only one keeping me from the edge is now gone! So back off!"

Roy pushed him into the bed. "You're being a royal ass, you know that?"

"I didn't ask you to come," said Dick, and then his eyes filled with tears. And that struck them, all of them.

Aside from Roy, they had never seen Dick cry.

"Please, go away… just go away…" said Dick and he started to cry silently.

Tim took Dick's hand. He knelt in front of his brother and looked at him sadly. "No. Not until you talk to us…"

"If only, Tim. If only talking would make you understand…" said Dick without breath.

Then M'Gann stepped forward. "Then show us. Let us see what you see. Feel what you feel. I can link us all, dig deep into your mind… share your memories, your pain. And then… we'll understand… we'll help you…"

Dick looked at M'Gann dubiously. "You could do that, but you wouldn't come back like before. You'd know my pain and you'd… change… or you'd look at me differently."

Finally, Zatanna walked forward and kissed him on the lips. "We'll do it, for you…"

The ebony looked at his friends. They all seemed willing to do that. They all seemed to be willing to help him. Dick was afraid. He was about to open up all his secrets and dark thoughts to his friends, to his family. He would feel naked. He would feel unprotected. They would see the real him and it scared Dick. "I'm afraid…"

Roy touched his shoulder. "Don't be. We'll find our way."

Dick breathed deeply, and then nodded. "Fine. But I promise you, what you'll find… you won't like…"

With a nod from everybody, M'Gann used his psychic powers to link them all and delve inside Dick Grayson's mind.

Suddenly, they were all falling into a mental vortex of memories…

 _She's lost in the darkness, fading away_

 _I'm still around here, screaming her name_

 _She's haunting my dreamworld, trying to survive_

 _My heart is frozen. I'm losing my mind_

 _Help me, I'm buried alive_

* * *

 **Thanks for the review I know I'm going to get! The song is "Lost" by Within Temptation, it is truly a masterpiece that gets you the feels. In the next chapter, the Team is going to find themselves in Dick's childhood, a very joyful place called Haly's Circus...**


	2. The Circus (Or The Place That Was Home)

**Hello guys! Thanks for your reviews! This first chapter focuses on Dick's early childhood at Haly's Circus! Enjoy!**

* * *

 **I.- The Circus (Or A Place I Used To Call Home)**

It looked like eternity, the feeling of levity. No time passed by, and yet, second and minutes rushed at hyper-speed. Echoes of the past, voices of the present, they all collided in the Vortex of Memories. The starting point of the mind where every little detail was stored, and every feeling was kept. The Vortex of Memories of a person was sacred, because it held the path to the reality of a person. If gone, then there would be nothing but an empty carcass.

And so the group of friends appeared in the Vortex. They all looked around and saw images in small frames that together formed a whole. They were in the place where it all resided.

"Woah," said Tim as he looked around, seeing the images pass by like frames of a movie. "I've never been inside someone's mind before…"

Artemis frowned. "I have, Kaldur's. It's not that pretty… you can feel the despair in a person, and it manifests in different ways. Kaldur's was Tula. And she… it… was angry…"

M´Gann looked around, trying to hold a shiver. "This is not right. Even inside someone's mind… I can usually tell right from wrong. But Dick's mind is all messed up."

"Ruins," said Kaldur, remembering his own state of loss inside his mind after Miss Martian brain blasted him.

The Martian nodded. "Yes, but this is different. While your ruins were caused by my mind breaking yours… this is something deeper. These are emotions… destroying every corner of our friend's heart. Eating away his… well, sanity…"

Conner looked around, the pieces of memories running through him. "Is this possible, M'Gann?"

"I've never seen something like this," admitted M'Gann and looked at the others. "I really don't know where to start. His mind… is a complete mess. I'm amazed Dick is still whole. With a mind like this… he could as well be insane. My Uncle J'onn told me once he encountered this… while trying to read the Joker's mind…"

Zatanna felt a chill down her spine. "Why do I feel we just opened a Pandora's Box?"

Tim looked around. "The question is… where do we start?"

Then, Roy and Barbara turned to their left, and they found someone looking at them at the end of the tunnel of memories.

It was a little boy, probably six years old, looking at them. He had piercing blue eyes, ebony hair, skin that gave up the heritage of a gypsy, and was wearing blue shorts and a red t-shirt. He looked at them and started sucking his thumb, as if waiting for them to notice him.

Barbara approached the little kid. "Hey, sweetie… are you… Dick?"

Little-Dick nodded, thumb still in his mouth. He gazed at them, looking deeply with innocent eyes.

Once everyone was looking at him, he got his thumb out of his mouth and started walking away.

He stopped and looked back at them.

"I guess he wants us to follow him," said Roy, and glanced at his friends. They all nodded and they walked forward, following Little-Dick.

And then, as they dug deep within the Tunnel, they were enveloped by a light that took them somewhere else.

* * *

They all felt the levity again as they landed.

"That felt weird," said Conner as he looked around.

They were in an open place, there were lots of people, and clowns and animals and colors. It was bountiful with life. They were in a circus, huge and magnificent, under the magic sun and the pale blue skies.

"Haly's Circus," said Roy, stating out the obvious. He knew about Dick's past as a circus acrobat. They all knew. He's all told them when the time came, so it came to no surprise they had appeared in the place where it all started. The place where Dick grew up.

Then, they heard a gleeful voice. "Raya, wait up!"

Turning around, the found a little girl with redhead and green eyes running around in an acrobat uniform. She looked happy. She was being chased by none other than a seven-year old Dick Grayson. He looked so happy, there was a light in his eyes that could match no flame. That boy they were seeing looked really happy, full and content.

"You can't catch me, Dickie!" said Raya as she tried to evade his touch. They were playing tag. "You might be the best kid acrobat in this place, but you just can't catch me!"

Seven year old Dick frowned and tried to jump, to catch his friend. He fell to the ground with a loud thump.

The girl, Raya, broke out laughing. "Wait till I tell Raymond!"

Dick groaned as he stood up. "Don't tell Raymond, he's going to mock me forever!"

The friends watched the scene unfold with confused looks. Zatanna looked interested. "Who is that girl, Raya? And who is Raymond?"

Tim frowned. "I don't know. Dick has never mentioned them…"

They turned back to the image of a new person approaching them. It was a taller boy, black haired, looking a lot like Dick. "Hey squirt, better not hurt yourself…"

"Sowwy, John!" said the little boy with a mocking voice.

Raya laughed again.

John smiled at the little boy and picked him up. "You know the baby talk won't work on me. I've stopped thinking you're adorable when you turned six…"

"That was just last month!" said Dick with a laugh. "I bet I'm still cute…"

"Whatever you say squirt," said John with a smile as he started to carry Dick inside with Raya behind them. "Come on Raya, I'm going to teach you some neat tricks about the trapeze!"

"Coming!" exclaimed the red hair girl.

As they walked into a tent, Roy frowned. "That was John, Dick's cousin… the one who… died that night…"

Tim felt so much pain inside. His big brother had once been a kid, and loved. He had friends, a life, and a cousin. "He looks so happy…"

Suddenly, they scene changed magically and they found themselves in nighttime.

"This is officially freaky," said Barbara as she looked up.

M'Gann nodded. "Sorry guys, his mind keeps… shifting. Even with my power I can't control these movements."

Artemis pointed forward. "Look, it's a fire."

"Let's go," said Conner and they followed him, approaching a beautiful campfire. It was so real. As soon as they approached it they could feel the warmth, the beautiful feeling of family and love.

They saw the Grayson family by the fire, and three little kids huddled together on a log.

"Oh, aren't they cute?" said Mary Grayson, she was a redhead too. She was so beautiful, and had a smile that irradiated.

Then Barbara understood. Raya was redhead, she was a redhead, Wally and Roy were redheads… and his mother had been a redhead too. "Every important person at Dick's life's been a redhead… that's why he's attracted to them…"

Zatanna looked down, feeling nervous.

They turned back to the scene.

Rick Grayson and his son, John, were watching Raymond, Dick and Raya cuddled together. The older man smiled. "Now that's one cute act…"

"I wish I had a camera," said Karla, Dick's aunt.

It was a cute scene. There little kids, Raya, Dick and a brunette boy slightly taller, Raymond, were cuddled together, falling asleep by the fire.

John Sr., Dick's dad, ruffled their hairs. "They did a great job today. They will be amazing acrobats when they grow up…"

Then John Jr, Dick's cousin, approached them a kissed them each in the forehead. He placed extra care on Dick's head. "I love you squirt, have a good night…"

And so they slept there. Three little kids, best friends, surrounded by family and loving people.

And it ached inside the Team's hearts.

"Dick had a very loving family," said Roy and looked down. "More loving than mine ever was…"

"And losing them…" began Conner with pain in his voice. "It hurt him more. The closest the person, the bigger the attachment…"

"And the more sorrowful the loss," finished Zatanna, looked down.

Suddenly, there was another shift of the panorama. They were in a very crowded city, the night was so polluted it was hard to see the stars.

To Barbara, Artemis and Tim, it was awfully familiar. The blonde looked at her friends. "We're in Gotham…"

And then M'Gann spoke. "Guys, I sense we have fast forwarded two years…"

Roy's eyes widened. "Oh no. This is the night… the night Dick lost his family…"

 _I'm burning the bridges_

 _There is no return_

 _I'm trying to reach her_

 _I feel that she yearns_

 _Walk against the stream_

 _Fight for what I believe in_

 _Ran towards the end, trying not to give up_

 _Help me, I'm buried alive..._

* * *

 **Hai guys! Hope I earned my review!**

 **So, little insight: In the comics, Raya and Raymond are Dick's best friends at Haly's Circus. Eventually, Dick leaves and that bond is broken. If you don't mind a little SPOILER: Raya and Raymond become lovers when grown up, Raymond dies and Dick returns. In reality, Raymond is kidnapped by the COurt of Owls to become Talon, in replacement of Dick. Buut that's not coming to play here... I think...**

 **Thought it would be nice to add them, show what Dick truly lost.**

 **Next time: The Fall (Or The Day I Lost Everything)**


	3. The Fall (Or The Day I Lost Everything)

**Hey, short chapter guys. You know, trying to get over a lot of things, but I'm coming through :D. Anyway, you know what happens now. The Fall of the Flying Graysons...**

 **Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

 **II.- The Fall (Or The Day I Lost Everything)**

The group of friends found themselves behind curtains, as Haly's Circus prepared itself for its most tragic performance. They could feel it. They were inside Dick's mind, so every feeling he had back then, they could sense it. It was if the memory carried the feeling and was overwhelming them. M´Gann was trying to disassociate the feeling and the image but it was proving to be difficult. It was as if Dick Grayson could have predicted what was going to happen.

"Hey guys, there's Dick!" said Tim as he pointed to the other side of the carp, where an eight year old Dick Grayson was stretching and preparing for his performance. Raya and Raymond were there too, each of them preparing to their upcoming performance as 'The Daring Rangers'.

Raya walked towards Dick, and the redhead little girl looked disturbed. "Everything okay, Dick? You look… distraught…"

Dick sighed. "I'm trying to get traught. But I don't know, Raya, this feel strange. I don't like this city. Too much noise and crowded people. It's not like other cities we visit…"

"Yeah, I get that too," said Raymond as he walked forward to Dick. "Don't worry, Dickie, just for tonight… by tomorrow, we'll be on our way out of here…"

Dick nodded. "I hope so…"

Raya smiled and kissed his cheek. "By the way, I love how you play with words. It's adorable…"

The young ebony blushed. "Uh, thanks Raya."

Then the voice of Haly, the Ringmaster, was heard. "And now I present to you, our youngest acrobats in the troupe! The three cutest and yet, most daring kids in the world. Raya, Raymond and Richard! The Daring Rangers!"

As the kids made their way to the trapeze, the group of mind invaders looked sadly.

Zatanna looked down, feeling nostalgic even though it wasn't her memory. "Dick really loved Raya and Raymond. They were really close…"

"I wonder what happened to them," said Conner, watching the amazing performance of the kids. "Dick… he never talks about them…"

Barbara, however, looked down. She was worried. What did Dick Grayson see when she looked at her? Just a reflection of Raya or the true Barbara Gordon? It was a strange gamble. She thought she knew Dick Grayson. Truth was, she didn't know him at all. She didn't know who his friends have been, or his full past. It baffled her.

It baffled everyone. They've just seen two memories and they already knew they didn't know their friend at all. Even Roy was surprised. Why did Dick didn't ever open up? He was the ladies man, the Team leader, but they never really know what drove him, what made him tick. Or what made him break. Nightwing had been putting up a mask for so long.

It was a disaster, heavy on the dis. Heaviest dis ever.

Suddenly, the scenery changed and they found themselves floating above the trapeze.

John was about to join the Flying Grayson's in the final act, but he was kneeling by Dick and ruffling his hair. "Hey squirt. This is the final performance. No net, you know…"

Dick nodded. "I just wish I could do it…"

"One day you'll grow enough to be part of this act, Dickie," said John and kissed his forehead. "Just be patient…"

And they knew, Dick held on to that promise. He was part of the Flying Grayson's, but not ready for the final act. But he had the best seat in the house, where he could see his beloved family perform it. It always thrilled Dick. If only he knew it was going to be the last time he'd see his family perform ever.

And worst, he had the best seat in the house.

"They're going to fall, aren't they?" asked Zatanna, already feeling the terror build up in her spine.

Tim closed his eyes and looked away. "Yes, I still remember it clearly."

"You?" asked Conner confused as he looked at the younger Robin. "What do you mean you remember it?"

The youngest in the troupe breathed deeply. "I was there. I was only four years old. In the audience, in fact, I was not far from Bruce. I never knew that night would change so many lives. I saw them fall, and… that's what started an inner obsession with the Flying Graysons, leading me to stalk Dick for years and slowly come to the conclusion he was Robin and Bruce was Batman. That night, not only did Dick lose his parents, but in a way, set me on to a path that would make us both… Robins…"

Conner looked surprised. So the history of not one, but two Robins, started that night. "I didn't know, Tim…"

"You know, Bat-secrets," said Tim regretfully as he saw the last performance of the Flying Graysons. "If I remember it like a lasting event in my life… I cannot even… imagine… how Dick feels…"

And then it happened.

The trapeze snapped, and a shriek of terror was heard from the audience.

A woman screamed.

And they felt it, an overwhelming sorrow. Each of them felt like they had been stabbed on the heart, repeatedly. Some of them had to kneels as the pain in their hearts was too much.

"Guys," said M'Gann with pain. "I don't think… I can block this…"

Roy gasped, watching the bodies of the Flying Graysons on the ground. His eyes turned to Dick, who was standing in the platform, looking shocked. His eyes were wide and his mouth was agape. The archer looked at the little kid, one hand touching his chest, one hand trying to reach Dick. "Dick…"

"It feels…" began Conner, trying to grasp a control of his emotions. "I…"

"Guys, this is just a fraction of what Dick felt…" said M'Gann as she helped Artemis stand up. "I'm blocking the entire trauma from damaging your minds…"

Barbara looked in pain, the whole scenes was frozen.

Dick was frozen.

He had lost them…

And suddenly, everything started to blur. As if Dick was blocking the memory for them to see. They all looked around; it was like a nebula again, everything was slowly fading away. It was slowly rejecting them, and the pain they felt was so real it destroyed them. Slowly, painfully, they saw the blurry images of the coroner's taking the body…

Raya and Raymond comforting Dick, who was in the arms of Mr. Haly. They were all crying.

And it never went away, the pain.

It just lingered.

* * *

 **Okay guys, next chapter should be way longer. It's called "The Rape (Or The Day I Lost Innocence)". Yes, Dick is going to be raped. He is actually raped in the comics when he is Nightwing, and I've been wondering if I should add that scene in this story. However, this is going to be a starting point.**

 **Review?**


	4. The Abuse (Or The Day I Became Hollow)

**Hi guys, I bring you another update. I just want to warn you, this chapter, though not my best writing, is very sad.**

* * *

 **III.- The Abuse (Or The Day I Became Hollow)**

Suddenly, the group of friends found themselves transported to a dark office. There was a woman in a desk, and in front of him were three people. Bruce Wayne, Jack Haly and Dick Grayson. The billionaire philanthropist was looking all serious and business like as he stared at the woman typing something in her computer. Jack Haly looked terribly sad, looking down with a couple of tears forming in his eyes, and finally, little eight year old Dick Grayson was there, looking somewhat lost. He was lost. He had just seen his family fall to his dead, and now only his uncle remained, but was comatose.

The friends watched anxiously. Tim looked down and folded his arms. "By the look of everyone's face, I don't think this will be a pleasant memory…"

Barbara nodded. "I don't think anything is pleasant after this, Tim…"

Conner looked at Bruce Wayne, he looked tired, worn off. "I guess Dick meets Bruce shortly after his family's falls. But where are we?"

Kaldur grimaced. "I believe we're about to find out…"

Suddenly, the woman looked up, she had an unfriendly look. "Listen, Mr. Haly. I do believe you have no petition to ask for the boy, since he has no blood relations to you and you can't provide for him."

"I've provided for him all his life!" exclaimed Haly outraged.

The woman looked unchallenged. "That may be, but since his parents are gone and the only blood relative he has left in paralyzed, I make the decisions. You are not qualified to take care of him, not while running and international circus. And since the boy was orphaned in Gotham, and his recent birth records indicate that was born in American soil, I am the one who is going to decide where he stays…"

"Nonesense!" exclaimed Haly with tears in his eyes. "You can't take him. He might be a gothamite, but his family has been with Haly's Circus for four generations. We are his family, and we will care for him!"

"Sorry, Mr. Haly, but the custody of Richard John Grayson will be given up to the State of New Jersey and carried out in the City of Gotham," said the woman and looked like a dangerous criminal. "Sorry sir, but you have to leave…"

"No, please!" said Haly as he tried to persuade the woman. "I'm the only family he has left! His friends are at the circus, his family was raised in the circus. He belongs with us!"

Bruce Wayne stood up and placed a comforting hand over Haly's shoulder. "Mr. Haly…"

The woman, the pathetic social worker, glared at Haly. "I will ask you once again to leave my office, or I'll call security."

Haly looked down, defeated. "Dick…"

Dick finally reacted, looking at his grandfather figure. "Mr. Haly? What… going on?"

The older man embraced Dick, strong, and cried on his shoulder. "I'm sorry Dickie, I'm so sorry. I failed you…"

Dick, who was still traumatized by his loss, looked at Haly with a lost look. "They're going to take you away too? But…"

Trying not to make it harder for the boy, Haly let go and slowly pushed him away. "Listen Dickie, I'll come back for you. I won't give up. I love you, little bird."

Dick looked like he was hit again in the heart. "But… I want to go with you! And I want to go see Raya and Raymond! Please, don't leave me! Please Mr. Haly! Don't let them take me away, I don't want to go! I want to stay in the circus, with you and Raya and Raymond and everybody!"

But Haly, sobbing, let go of the boy and walked out, to not make it more difficult. "I'll come back for you, little bird, somehow…"

Bruce held Dick tight as the little boy tried to push forward to embrace Haly. "Please, no! Please Mr. Haly, don't go! I'll be a good boy, I promise! Please don't leave me with them…"

Haly walked weakly towards the door, sobbing profusely.

Bruce held him tight as Dick cried harder and harder every single moment. "It's okay, little boy. You'll be alright… I'll take care of you…"

Dick, however, just cried.

The woman cleared her throat. "See, Mr. Wayne. Although your social and financial position as Gotham's wealthiest… we cannot deny that the boy will be in capable hands with you. However, there is a standard protocol we must follow, and that's why the kid will be placed on a facility until the paperwork for his adoption can be processed…"

"You're sending him to an Orphanage?" asked Bruce with an angry tone, still holding to the crying little boy in his arms. "Those monsters will eat him alive! Those kids are not raised properly and prey on the vulnerable. I'm not sending him to that place…"

"Actually," said the woman, growing nervous, visibly. "All orphanages in Gotham are full. Our only resort is to take him to Gotham's Juvenile Center…"

Bruce paled. "You're sending him to Juvie?!"

Dick looked up, teary eyed. "What's a Juvie?"

The woman nodded, clearly not caring less about Dick Grayson. "Yes, the boy is of gipsy heritage. We don't know how he can fit in an orphanage, Juvie will be his home until he's ready to go with you…"

Bruce was clearly mad, angry. He punched the desk and exalted the woman. "If you think for a second I will allow you animals to take him to Juvie, then you're dead wrong. You're judging him by his origins, that's discrimination. Racial discrimination. Also, you know full well that he doesn't deserve to be there. Surrounded by criminals and careless guardians. Are you insane?"

The woman stood up, fuming. "Listen Mr. Wayne. One more word and I _will_ tear your adoption application to shreds. I don't care who you are, or who this boy is. He is going wherever I see fit."

Bruce looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel. "Listen, Miss. This is not over. You may win this round but I promise you, I will make sure you don't terrorize children anymore. Mark my words, miss…"

The woman fumed. "One more word, Mr. Wayne… and you'll never adopt this boy…"

The philanthropist looked down and growled. He looked at the crying Dick, who looked so small and vulnerable. "Mr. Wayne…. What are they going to do with me?"

"Listen Dick," said Bruce, kneeling to his height and hugging him. "I'll take you home with me. You'll have a new life. But that will take a couple of days. You will be sent to somewhere… awful. I can't lie to you. You're going to have to be strong. Very strong. Never forget that I will be fighting constantly to get you with me as soon as possible. You need to promise me you will be a brave big boy and strong."

Dick, still crying, nodded. "I want Mommy and Daddy… I want John and Aunt Karla and Uncle Rick…"

And that's when it broke the Team's hearts.

Zatanna was slowly crying, Barbara was speechless, M'Gann was trying to hold on to the psychic plane and control all these emotions. Kaldur was dumbstruck, Roy was fuming, Conner was shocked and Tim looked hurt. But Artemis, Artemis was deeply affected.

She grew up in a dysfunctional family with a careless father and an absent mother. She knew what it was to want a place to call home. But seeing Dick like this, it surpassed what she knew about the former Boy Wonder. "Dick… why didn't you ever tell me?"

* * *

Suddenly, the Team was transported to the cafeteria of the Juvenile Center. There were criminal boys and evil kids mocking the others. They were all strays, and even worse, some of them were rooting psychopaths. And the guards, they looked carelessly after the boys they were supposed to take care of. They laughed at their expense and abused them, treating them like dirt. Most kids ignored them or fought back, but they were really damaged kids.

And Dick, he was just a poor little orphaned boy.

"Hey circus brat," said a young criminal as he approached Dick and threw the food tray on top of Dick. "I heard you're leaving soon. I was thinking of making you a party. What do you say?"

Dick, now messed with food, looked scared. "Please, I didn't do anything to you…"

"You were born," said the young criminal as he grabbed Dick by the collar and pulled him closer. "I hate gypsies…"

And then he punched him, right in the face. And Dick grunted in pain, getting a bloody lip.

He was hit again, with everyone looking and cheering for the criminal boy. Blood was starting to splatter on the ground.

M'Gann looked horrified. "No, please tell me this isn't how it came out…"

And then the monster hit the little boy again.

"We have to do something!" said Tim in hysterics, watching as the little version of his older brother was beaten down. "Please, we have to help him! Dick!"

Barbara hugged Tim close, as the current Robin was trying to break away and try to do something. "This is a memory, Tim. This already happened… We can't do anything…"

Roy grunted, kicking the air, looking away. He could not bear to see any longer. "Those monsters… they abused Dick! They hurt him! M'Gann, get me their names. I don't care if that happened eleven years ago. I'll hunt them down and kill them…"

Then, they were stopped by the whistle of a guard.

Dick was a bloody mess, and the monster just threw him to the ground. The young criminal looked at the guard, who was a tall guy in a jumpsuit. "He started it…"

The young acrobat was too weak to mutter anything.

The guard growled and picked Dick up by the collar of his clothes. "I hate kids like you, Grayson. Thinking you can start trouble because some billionaire is going to adopt them. You won't get away with it, not while you're here. You may be going tomorrow, but I'll make sure you learn your lesson…"

And so the guard dragged Dick, and they were all shifted to a cell.

The guard just threw the little boy to the cell and closed the bars. "You'll stay quiet there, or I'll make you sorry…"

Finally, the lights were turned off and left Dick in darkness. But not silence.

The Team was heartbroken when they heard the sobbing coming from the little boy. Hard sobbing, broken heart cries. Dick was injured, abused by both staff and inmates, and humiliated. He was just eight years old.

Tim finally dropped to his knees and started crying as well. "Please, M'Gann. Just stop this…"

Artemis shook her head, with tears on her own. "Keep going M'Gann. I need to know… we need to know… Dick can't bear his pain alone. He has to share it with us. We need to see…"

That statement left M'Gann crying on Conner's arms, but she nodded, shifting them to another memory in Dick's broken mind.

* * *

 **Sad wasn't it? I know, I said he'd be raped... and he will, just not yet. I'm moving the rape part to later into the story, as he was raped in the comics by a vigilante named Tarantula. I'll try to adapt that storyline here. Anyway, next chapter will be Dick arriving to Wayne Manor and maybe his discovery of Bruce Wayne being Batman. If that's too short, I'll start his training as Robin too.**

 **I might take a couple of days to update because my next update will be "The Deathstroke COntract"**

 **I hope I earned my review!**


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